You stole from me. I trusted you with a human need, you offered to help me get it, and then you stole from me. I don’t know what I was looking for in you but it wasn’t this. The thoughtlessness and level of disrespect that I feel are deep enough to reach my soul. You did not earn any part of me, yet you received what you wanted from me without permission. How dare you?
Pet peeve number one: For a motherf****r to waste my time, PERIOD. The one thing I have that is not only infinite but also irreplaceable is time. It’s the most valuable thing a human being can give anyone or anything else. I took the time to nurture this openness with you, and I opened up my chakras to receive your energy. Do you know how big of a step that was for me? After being closed off for so long, I thought I’d be safe to try opening up again with someone like you, but you took my time for granted at the end of the day.
I feel robbed and at the same time, I feel compassion towards you. After all, I realized that you really didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. You thought you knew, but you had no clue. You didn’t know what it truly means to tap in and connect on a spiritual level. You thought I’d be the one to get in over my head but in reality, it was you. You couldn’t handle what I was looking for because you didn’t understand it.
So, now what? Can we pretend like this misunderstanding didn’t just happen and we can go back to our regularly scheduled program? Or did this just alter the dynamics of our connection permanently? Do you know what it means to let go and go back to normalcy? Or is this another one of those things that you think you have a handle on but you really don’t? I get the feeling it’s the latter by the way you’ve been acting; really immature if you ask me, which is kind of a shocker since you normally come off as someone who has a handle on things. But, it “be” like that sometimes, huh? I know that song and dance. You put up a facade to protect yourself, but you’re actually lost. I guess I understand. I just wish this life lesson didn’t come through like this.
“You couldn’t handle what I was looking for because you didn’t understand it. “
I’m going to take a step back and cut my losses wherever they need to be cut. I’m going to trust that everything happens to benefit me. After all, the universe always knows when it’s time for me to learn a valuable lesson. It’s like, whenever I need to be enlightened, I get random pop quizzes in the form of these questionable scenarios.
So, what was the lesson I needed to learn? Trust. I needed to learn to fully trust myself and always listen to my intuition. I’ve struggled with this for many years. I guess I needed an intense experience to finally understand this because I did not seem to pick this lesson up through other, less vulnerable experiences. The universe repeatedly told me no over and over, and I didn’t listen. Many signs pointed towards a hard NO, but I didn’t believe it. Ok universe, I get it now. No, really. I promise I get it now. I’ll listen from now on.
Here’s to hoping things can go back to what they used to be, because this new future is not what I envisioned. I forgive you, but most of all, I forgive myself for being human. I’m cleansing my energy body, and I’m letting this go. I’m taking back my power, and I wish you nothing but the best. What you took, I can replenish.
Wishing I never see you in this light again,
Get inspired to practice self-care through travel and other creative outlets. Get regular content updates sent straight to your inbox.