Dear Past Relationships,
You have left my life, and I miss you sometimes. However, sometimes I get angry when I think of you. You represent all the people in my life who were once lovers, friends, family members, and anything else in between. I hate change, and unfortunately for me, sometimes I hold on to things or people that no longer serve me for much longer than I should.
Some of you abandoned me, some of you hurt my feelings. Some of you lied to me, some of you betrayed me, and some of you failed to catch me when I was falling. Through all of this, I still remained loyal to these relationships, and I was still everything to you that you were not to me.
My first question was, “Why? Why did you do this to me? How dare you?” The only way I could think of relieving this pain was to move the blame over to you. Make you completely responsible for everything I was experiencing. After all, I was not the one who stopped being loyal to the relationship.
“I was still everything to you that you were not to me.”
When things were good, things were really good. But when sh*t hit the fan, you weren’t where I thought you would be. The thing is, I know I played my part. I was also responsible for my pain. I didn’t believe you the first time you showed me who you really were. I decided to ignore the fact that the universe was trying to show me that you were not someone beneficial to my life. I fell in love with your potential instead of just seeing who you were at the present moment.
This letter really isn’t to tell you how you affected me, or what you did wrong. It’s not to tell you what I thought was wrong with the way you handled the situation, or what you should have done. This letter is to say good-bye for the last time. I told you before that I was leaving, but I lied. I didn’t really leave. I lingered. Hoping I would see something. Anything. Maybe I hoped you’d change and come back. Maybe I hoped Karma would pay you a visit and make you realize all of the pain you put me through. I may have secretly hoped to have a front-row seat to your demise. The fact is, I didn’t leave the people and things that no longer served me when I should have, and I am owning up to that now so I can finally walk away.
So, this is my final farewell to all of my past relationships. I promise to stay away for good this time, and I promise to stop waiting for things to happen to you. I am going to leave the responsibility of holding you accountable up to the universe to handle. I’m sure you’ll get exactly what you deserve, whatever that is.
Wishing you nothing but whatever it is you truly deserve in life,
LadyX
