As I begin to write a letter to you, future, I begin to think about how you will respond to me. I am currently taking some major leaps and bounds as I make my way over to you, future. I have had a moment to just hang out here in the present for a while, without making any significant moves…until now. I am wondering what’s next for me. Can you please give me some signs?
There is a lot I have been working on lately, but I am still lost. I do not know which direction to go in, and I am not sure which are the things I need to let go of, and which I should focus more on. This letter is necessary. I have never written to you before, but I feel like I am so close to you, yet so far. Am I alone in this one? How many of us humans experience this on a daily basis? I sit here everyday, thinking about what you look like, future. You never show yourself to me, and I feel like I am always living my life just to try and find you.
Future, please tell me what’s next. Where do I go from here? Do I get to reach my dreams? Do I get the house ? Do I get the career I want? Tell me what it is I need to do in order to get to where you are. Where do you live? I have been working hard for the last few years. I’ve worked hard to get my mind stable and prepared enough for this moment. The moment where I decide to venture off once more in pursuit of my happy future. This divorce set me back, and I didn’t realize until recently that the reason I came to Chicago was because I needed a moment to reset. I thought I needed to hit the ground running in my career. Instead, I got to hit the ground running towards my healing journey.
I am finally feeling strong, ready, and capable, future. I just need to know where I’m going to next at this point. I hope I hear, see or feel you soon. In the meantime, I’ll just keep working like a mad woman towards all of the things I want to have in my life when I finally find you. Hoping this will be the first of many letters I will write to you, future.
Waiting anxiously for your response,
P.S. – I wrote a letter to the world, and I told her some of my darkest fears.
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